Emmie ,

We would like to shift our structure to a more flexible model of management to accommodate for unforeseen market fluctuations.

So I am fired?

As I said we want to reschedule you indefinitely as our potential support asset. This pool is very prestigious and privileged position to be in.

So will I get paid?

As much as we would like to, truly, It is legally impossible for us to provide you with any funds outside of a legally binding contract which needs to be terminated in order to shift to a better state of financial buoyancy.

SanndyTheManndy ,

Up in the air was ahead of its time

BeMoreCareful ,

Is this an actress, or am I missing a reference?

DannyMac ,
@DannyMac@lemmy.world avatar

I think it's also in reference to people getting fired over zoom. Also, it could be referencing how gen z will record their firings now and post them to tiktok to shame the company, LOL. I love gen z!

bluemellophone ,

Yes, pretty sure on both accounts.

AgentOrangesicle ,
@AgentOrangesicle@lemmy.world avatar

I don't... need to see that again.
It doesn't matter how good you were. When restructuring happens you lose regardless.

phoenixz ,

Oh sure, but if you look a little beyond the surface you'd see people who also just want to keep their jobs, just like you.

It's easy to vilify those you don't like, it's hard to really look at them and see that they aren't that different from us

melpomenesclevage ,

Okay but wanting to keep your job as a nurse at a charity clinic and wanting to keep your job as an IDF colonel are not the same.

Rolive ,

HR personnel are such creeps. It really does attract a certain type.

Vej ,

Got the boot from a company.

Here's the BS I had to deal with:
-I was dealing with health issues when I was working.
-My former coworker actively tried to make my condition worse.
-I reported them for this to management & HR
-Got fired, as they had friends in HR.
-They filled out the unemployment paperwork wrong 4 times.
-The unemployment case was so messed up, the local government got involved.

The positives.
-Company deamed at fault and heavily scolded by the government.
-I got paid more on unemployment than when working.
-I make ~25% more at my new job.

That was ~2 years ago.

lemmyseizethemeans ,

Human capital management is pleased to announce there was an error on your hiring contract so you will be getting a 3% paycut

dubyakay ,

People Team. It's called People Team now.

coffee_with_cream ,

I'm going through it right now. Got a good review, but was demoted, but they didn't expect me to actually stay, so they are forcing me to quit

Aganim ,

"You're not being sacked, no, we are releasing you into a world of opportunity!" Yes, a friend of mine actually heard that one a while ago when he was 'let go'. 🤨

watersnipje ,

Jesus Christ. Layoffs suck, but can they at least try to be normal human beings about it, and not some kind of incarnation of the LinkedIn feed?

Rai ,

My boss and HR lady were very solemn when I was laid off from my last job RIGHT BEFORE COVID started. I was BEAMING. HR lady said I was the most unconventional layoff she’s ever done. I thanked her and shook her hand. It was the best thing that happened to me in a long time.

aseriesoftubes ,

If it’s Amazon that’s laying you off, they’ll just shut down your email, Slack, and intranet access before you can start work in the morning, and let you figure the rest out yourself.

NewNewAccount ,

Haha for real? Efficient!

hemko ,

Lmao

The standard procedure is to close access during the meeting but that's new level of efficiency

nmhforlife ,

As someone who was recently laid off, I can identify. I didn’t see it immediately, but was able to travel to Arizona to catch some spring training baseball with my son and brother. That was all I needed to bounce back. On Monday I start a new job at a healthier company making 25% more money.

xav ,

Your son is your brother ? Alabama ?

nmhforlife ,

I’m sure you’re being obtuse but just to clarify they are two distinct humans and we are not from Alabama.

xav ,

I'm just there for a cheap joke. Hope it didn't hurt !
(BTW I have already been given the boot by HR. Can't correctly express my feeling about them.)

Seraph ,
@Seraph@kbin.social avatar

Would you prefer them be weeping? No really I wonder which people like getting bad news from more, happy or sad people.

TheRaven ,
@TheRaven@lemmy.ca avatar

I prefer them to not be enjoying it, nor taking it lightly that I’m losing my income and I’ll be struggling over the next series of months to make ends meet.

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