Update 2 days later:
Many useful comments. I now have text doc filled with apps, software, podcasts, etc to research, try out.
This posted question was weird, obscure. Could've been ignored, ridiculed. Barely slept in 4 weeks cuz hearing voices. Desperately hoping against hope.
So, small group of random internet strangers taking question seriously, offering constructive solutions instead of ridicule? You've helped a lot. Thank you.