@elisshadoe@c.im cover
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

elisshadoe

@elisshadoe@c.im

not my real name address: in a land far far away education: abcd age: vintage marital status: married to netflix (nearly 10 years)…looking forward to the divorce settlement financial status: living with people who make more money than me profession: working but sometimes the brain takes a holiday daily prayer: dear god, why am i still alive? dating profile: asked a girl out once and she said that I was very “brave”…so taking time off to reflecton myself

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. For a complete list of posts, browse on the original instance.

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

I never knew it was that easy.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@lowqualityfacts by the time you do the math, we’ll all be dead…thank you

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

I'm surprised that Republicans haven't tried to ban them yet.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@lowqualityfacts RIP Baby! At least we’ll have the sweet memories of you kicking republican butt!

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

I have 38,000 followers on Mastodon. If only 1% of my followers gave me one dollar a month on Patreon, I would be making 38 million dollars every single month. The power of the generosity of strangers blows my mind.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@lowqualityfacts a new talking calculator?

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

RIP Jimi.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@lowqualityfacts S’cuse me, while I kiss the sky and it took me away

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

Public libraries do not mess around.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@lowqualityfacts exception for banned, then you’re dead meat

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

Nice.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@lowqualityfacts you didn’t say to what…

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

That makes sense.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@lowqualityfacts if this doesn’t make sense, there’s always alcohol…just saying

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

I love Edward Scissorhands.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@lowqualityfacts Just imagine, Tume Burton, did all the heavy lifting…life’s not fair

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

That's so sweet.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@lowqualityfacts IT was hard on them

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

That's sneaky of them.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@lowqualityfacts a concept championed by Los Pollos Hermanos...Too bad about the CEO

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

That's so tragic.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@lowqualityfacts I'm sad to say there were more fatalities when people learned how much money the movie made at the box office.

May they rest in popcorn.

lowqualityfacts , (edited ) to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

You heard it here first, the newspaper business is booming.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@lowqualityfacts Fakes news will live forever…

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

I believe this was the inspiration behind Hamilton.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@lowqualityfacts Costanza?

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

I should have suspected.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@lowqualityfacts according to my calculations, don't be a square...

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

I gave up over 11 million followers on Twitter to be on Mastodon full time. Yes, as I'm sure many of you have guessed by now, I am Jimmy Kimmel.

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@lowqualityfacts and i'm sam rockwell, let's dance

https://tenor.com/view/samrockwell-dance-dancing-split-gif-8934421

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

That explains a lot.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@lowqualityfacts it was inspired by the song smooth criminal by mj (RIP) and kara is the official translation for the word annie...

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

I'd watch it.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@lowqualityfacts there’s a real life hedgehog running in 2024, vote for the other guy

Strandjunker , to random
@Strandjunker@mstdn.social avatar

If Bill Clinton raped girls on Epstein’s island, he should rot in prison for the rest of his life.

If Donald Trump raped girls on Epstein’s island, he should rot in prison for the rest of his life.

That wasn’t so difficult, was it?

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@Strandjunker :bd239: 🙏

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

Wow, that's crazy.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@lowqualityfacts it was one time…i’m a grown ass man, i know how to ride a bike!

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

That's crazy.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@lowqualityfacts when you think of 45, it's a river of tears

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

That's fair.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@lowqualityfacts they also use the incinerator to dispose of bodies but you didn’t hear it from me

TheVulgarTongue Bot , to histodons group
@TheVulgarTongue@zirk.us avatar

BOLT. A blunt arrow.

A selection from Francis Grose’s “Dictionary Of The Vulgar Tongue” (1785)

--
@histodons

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@TheVulgarTongue @histodons yesterday i had a blunt arrow from the sky

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

Ben Franklin was not a popular man.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@lowqualityfacts as of now, he’s the second most unpopular president…

luckytran , to random
@luckytran@med-mastodon.com avatar

Kids are losing 'huge chunks' of their childhood to long COVID. Too many are being told it's 'all in their head.' https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-06-16/children-with-long-covid-dismissed-doctors-myth-virus-harmless/103959078

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@luckytran the covid wave is back...please wear a mask :bd96:

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

Obviously.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@lowqualityfacts I’m getting a headache

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

That explains a lot.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@lowqualityfacts and new zealanders (or maybe australians… but who cares!) invented cricket

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

We made a comic about coffee.

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@lowqualityfacts bet they get the name wrong

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

That makes sense.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@lowqualityfacts sounds Fishy

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

I heard he almost started multiple wars.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@lowqualityfacts A temporarily insane narcissistic blowfish was elected president and he ran office for 4000 years!

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

I wonder how many Starbucks they have down there.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@lowqualityfacts welcome to the bug apple

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

Wow, that's really cold.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@lowqualityfacts it’s hell on earth

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

Someone told me to stop shamelessly promoting my Patreon. Believe me pal, there is shame and lots of it.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@lowqualityfacts orders from Fishy, i'm afraid

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

We made a comic about haggling.

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@lowqualityfacts me too

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

Very impressive.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@lowqualityfacts they can also take a crap on people with incredible accuracy...So hold onto your ice creams!

TheVulgarTongue Bot , to histodons group
@TheVulgarTongue@zirk.us avatar

CANK. Dumb.

A selection from Francis Grose’s “Dictionary Of The Vulgar Tongue” (1785)

--
@histodons

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@TheVulgarTongue @histodons I’m writing a screenplay called cank and canker…pls support

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

You can easily tell if you look closely at the knucklestrokes.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@lowqualityfacts he was inspired by the show knuckleheads….

TheVulgarTongue Bot , to histodons group
@TheVulgarTongue@zirk.us avatar

LAND. How lies the land? How stands the reckoning? Who has any land in Appleby? a question asked the man at whose door the glass stands long, or who does not circulate it in due time.

A selection from Francis Grose’s “Dictionary Of The Vulgar Tongue” (1785)

--
@histodons

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@TheVulgarTongue @histodons the question is does the man own the land …or does the land own the man?

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

It's important to get your potassium.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@lowqualityfacts only in the banana republic...the rest of the world is safe from these right-wing nuts...sorry banana-heads

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

That's why I keep all my money in pennies.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@lowqualityfacts big deal...i have millions in monopoly money

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

That's crazy.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@lowqualityfacts is it a wonder why they’re banning book?

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

I always thought giraffe tasted the best.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@lowqualityfacts just stay away from the crocs

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

George makes a strong argument.

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@lowqualityfacts the man likes his coffee with scotch…

TheVulgarTongue Bot , to histodons group
@TheVulgarTongue@zirk.us avatar

CHOPPING, LUSTY. A chopping boy or girl; a lusty child.

A selection from Francis Grose’s “Dictionary Of The Vulgar Tongue” (1785)

--
@histodons

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@TheVulgarTongue @histodons I’m thinking of writing a chopping novel…

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

I'm surprised that so many people don't know this.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@lowqualityfacts it’s a gateway drug

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

We made a comic about Yelp reviewers.

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@lowqualityfacts :bd06:

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

I wonder what his favorite anime is.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@lowqualityfacts For those who don’t know.

“A weaboo (often shortened to weeb) is a Japanophile-like person that is mostly obsessed with manga and anime, sometimes superiorizing it over other cultures.The terms have been thought to be from the webcomic The Perry Bible Fellowship. The shortened term has also seen increased usage on the Internet in recent years. “

credit: Wikipedia

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

It was the greatest scandal in television history.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@lowqualityfacts at least he was honest

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

This happened to my uncle.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

elisshadoe ,
@elisshadoe@c.im avatar

@lowqualityfacts it’s called dying

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