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ToyDork

@ToyDork@sh.itjust.works

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. For a complete list of posts, browse on the original instance.

"A Nerdy Dystopia" is up for grabs ( sh.itjust.works )

It's stressing me out to leave communities that are relevant to it unblocked. The sheer cynicism is affecting my mood and I'm having to block all communities about real life news of any kind for personal health, so I am wondering if anyone considers "A Boring Dystopia, but instead of being boring, it's edgy or (at best) a cool...

"A Nerdy Dystopia", the fediverse community for cyberpunk-like things/actions/people from real life, is up for adoption. ( sh.itjust.works )

I can't take reading about how the world is collapsing every fucking day, if anyone wants a mod position and has experience, DM me and I'll give you free reign with an exception for banning me from A Nerdy Dystopia (I will keep the main moderator position to prevent this). Shouldn't be that hard to run a community like this if...

ToyDork ,
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OpenTTD taught me to appreciate running at near but not completely at capacity. Too little usage of a bus or train and you're wasting resources, too much unmoved material or passengers and you're wasting people's lives.

ToyDork ,
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What do you expect to happen when you vote an accountant instead of a planner into (potential) power instead of encouraging her to remain treasurer, and then believe a conman when he says the accountant steals from you but act like the conman hasn't stolen people's livelihoods on The Apprentice?

I'm going to be honest, you've all made it abundantly clear in the US that you don't care about this article's complaint. You know why you never see kids in wheelchairs in 1950s media? "Severely mentally ill" included spinal injury and paralysis. You've never done anything to help people like me because your fucking tax dollars are more important to you. Burn in hell, or at least read Changeling: The Lost (1e) and then assume that what it suggests is... though only in a realistic, mundane way... absolutely true. No, there's no hedge or kidnappings by the fae, but everything you read about in that fucking roleplay rulebook is directly based on reality.

If you don't have a mental illness or care about someone who does, you are the Gentry that serve as the undefeatable and obscenely cruel demon-gods of that setting, because the real truth is that it doesn't take eldritch horrorterrors to drive someone insane. Unfairness causes insanity.

So fuck all of you. You destroyed lives for your own selfish desires. There will be no negotiations on this, you don't get to blame the victim. Pay your fucking taxes, or personally help the mentally ill, or kindly admit how much of a monster you are and that you want people like me dead.

And they all died and everything was horrible forever. The end. Go away.

ToyDork ,
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I would rather be deluded to have escapism, I have always felt like reality is a prison to me and absolutely nothing has ever ruined my life quite like the abundance of anti-escapism in 2017. That, and I am a disabled person whose ability to socialize is further limited by a lack of nearby outlets for any sort of friendship. Screw reality, all I want is a future where my body doesn't need bread, only circuses, but I'll never have that so fuck all of you for telling me that wanting immortality is selfish even though I would make every effort to use such an advantage towards providing everyone with the same benefits and telling me I have to suffer in reality via Once Upon A Time, Twelve Forever, Gravity Falls, Inception, Undertale (or at least it's fandom), His Dark Materials, Ready Player One, the list goes on.

I am serious, anti-escapism was a godforsaken trend for years and combined with a quack psychiatrist whose medication drove me to insanity via 24/7 depression, it ruined my life (believe me, he was bad; I have a doctor's note from my current pschatrist that the medication the previous doctor prescribed was not recommended for someone with ASD and that his professional opinion was that he considered my previous psychiatrist's behavior to be medical malpractice, because the one I had been stuck with for years was unwilling to accept fault and provide one, and I had to move a long day's drive away just to get adequate mental health coverage from the Canadian medical system in another province).

I don't give a shit anymore. Let me escape. You can't tell me not to without going full 1984. You want the world to be better? I'm not stopping you but the moment you throw my "circus" of fiction that is unashamedly escapist out the window, I hate you all and I will have revenge. Whatever world you build next, dystopian or utopian? I will burn it to the fucking ground, and say "No. You took everything I cared about from me when I was so close to success, and my life is meaningless to me to the point I don't care whether I live or die even though I am psychiatrically stable. All I care about now is that I will take everything everyone else cares about from all of you. You will not get to say you told anyone so about a dystopia, you will not get to build a utopia, you will fucking starve to death. You can't just fix insanity with meds, it does permanent psychological damage, and so I will drive you all to insanity or death the moment you are this close to your ultimate goal. Enjoy knowing you created the Antichrist, all you fucking worthless over privileged, politically polarized, incompetent, shallowly opinionated, self-worshipping arrogant excuses for fuckwads. I will RUIN EVERYTHING FOR EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU.

ToyDork ,
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Spotted the American.

ToyDork ,
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Jesus, I wasn't thinking about that until you pointed it out but you're right. If I wasn't such a memory-hoarding dorkbrain I wouldn't have even realized why you're right without knowing what it's called to google it.

Yes, I don't know what it's called, but if you ever have to give someone allergy/heart attack/diabetes medication by injection, make sure the damn syringe is empty (pushed down entirely) until after the tip is submerged in the medicine because air bubbles in your blood will cause your heart to stop or something. It's really that important, and this is why doctors get paid the big bucks.

ToyDork ,
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Not saying it is. Just that it's extremely dangerous to not know what you're doing, but I get that if you're successfully taking recreational drugs regularly then you probably do. I'm not even talking about a junkie who at least has learned to do injections properly, I'm saying "if you've never done it before, be very careful about not having any air in it because that can kill someone".

ToyDork ,
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This is the internet, how the hell was I supposed to know that when the news is globally applicable?

ToyDork ,
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Oof, screw that. If I wanted to lose weight I'd do it the old-fashioned way.

That being said, there are diseases like Down Syndrome where this is better than the alternative; they're genetically predisposed to overly harsh weight gain and can't lose it naturally.

ToyDork ,
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Fair enough.

ToyDork ,
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I literally am furious at humanity in general. I took and take a series of bad luck in my life personally and want everyone else to suffer.

I have literally decided that if there is any sort of revolution in my lifetime, I don't care what the result is, only that I now have an opportunity to do to humanity what humanity did to me, and I will burn the resultant society to the ground because I hate you all and it's personal.

Either prove someone like me wrong, by proving humanity is generally good and I'm the bad guy, or lose everything when I destroy everything you worked towards. I am past caring about what you want, I only care about taking everything that everyone else truly values from them. If you are right about "people are not a good thing overall" then my murderous rage is justified.

ToyDork ,
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Let me be clear. If this succeeds, you're dead. As in, humans. Homo sapiens. I won't just burn down your world. I will kill until the only one left is me and I will kill myself too.

I already hate you all in a personal way. If this goes the way it's going, I will not fucking stop until we are extinct.

ToyDork OP Mod ,
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Well, at least they were able to strike. Despite South and North seeming more similar by the day, I can't say my own country is any better than the former but I can say I prefer where I live over Airstrip One North Korea.

Lemmy just depresses me, I should stop looking at it but I kind of feel like this community is needed.

ToyDork ,
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I'd say this should have been obvious, but sadly most people who can afford to own a reliable smartphone or computer are not drug abusers nor ever volunteered to help them.

Legal Protip: If you're offered community service for a crime you admit is your fault, take it and ask to be assigned to help the homeless. They're usually in this category and regardless of some of their attitudes it will help them try to get out of this kind of rut and you'll feel much better knowing your "punishment" was just to help the unfortunate. Being abused as a kid by anyone destroys people's lives and few seem to realize or care that that's the case.

Also, fuck anti-homeless benches.

ToyDork ,
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Tf? Who the hell thinks childhood obedience is a good thing?! I did not GET to have a childhood because of "obedience".

Fuck it, I'm done. I hate you all, you've ruined everything I truly care about and only seem happy when I conform regardless, I hope ALL of you lose everything you ever valued like I did.

ToyDork ,
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Fair enough, we'll leave it at that.

ToyDork ,
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Crawling in my Skin intensifies

ToyDork ,
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This. I use "no@thankyou.com" and an empty password so it displays the error message that the email/password was incorrect too many times and is forced to do things my way.

Am I a bad person for enjoying tormenting my OS on first install?

ToyDork ,
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Indeed. Personally, I've gone completely paperless just to avoid printers entirely. I can't afford a printer at all when most are temporary at best, and Brother is outside of my price range when I never need physical papers in the first place.

My dad has a Brother printer though, so can confirm they're somewhat better. Unfortunately, my dad owns a years-old iMac, so he has to not have the most recent available OS version or there won't be any working drivers; Macs have apparently become infamous for not supporting printers after even the most necessary of system updates, so his computer remains a huge security risk just so his printer works.

ToyDork ,
@ToyDork@sh.itjust.works avatar

No, but at this point I would die to destroy it if necessary. I am so sick of how these gold-plated assholes in Ottawa act like they can do whatever they want, and no, I'm not a right-wing kind of person but Justin Trudeau is not who you want representing your civil rights movement in government.

ToyDork ,
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Why the fuck is this not EVERYWHERE?!

ToyDork ,
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This needs to be considered first degree murder and prosecuted as such.

ToyDork ,
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That's it. If there aren't global riots by May, I'm killing myself. I hate reality. I fucking despise it and I want it to be destroyed because I feel imprisoned by it.

ToyDork ,
@ToyDork@sh.itjust.works avatar

No. What matters is I want to be the only me that has ever existed even if I exist across a span of time. My soul, even if just a biodigital construct, is all I have left to give anything meaning. This article just succeeded in convincing me to kill myself because "I" don't exist and right now whatever is looking at this screen and typing this hates reality for everything bad about it.

Goodbye.

ToyDork ,
@ToyDork@sh.itjust.works avatar

Admittedly I have made and make the mistake mentioned a lot.

I do try not to assume it's about me but when the majority of input from complete strangers (never from anyone who actually understood me like family or friends) in 2017 seemed to be criticism about me and believing so destroyed my life it's hard not to be bitter and simply say...

"I don't even care whether it's about me or not, because you are all telling everyone via everything from Gravity Falls and Once Upon A Time to Changeling: The Lost 1e to Homestuck and Undertale to Calvinism and a certain rant by a certain lolcow coughRobert Pellonicough that they have to 'grow up' without giving even the slightest reason other than 'childishness is true evil' (yes, it sounds insane but that's the message you give when your hero's greatest foe is always a child who is basically the devil) so I am right to actively resent society itself for telling me that being yourself is invalid if you're a childish person" because at the very least I was not a bad person."

I didn't let my youthful inner POV make me insufferable (I've done my best to fix that since 2015 as well as accepting that basically every Discord writing server is permanently off limits to me, and nobody is calling me a hassle IRL right now) or bratty or like a spoiled rich idiot, but thanks to the above shit I went through I now have actual PTSD and I don't even know what the trigger is, just that I seem to have some and certain things set it off.

I had ONE dream, to be a writer, but now that is impossible because I am unable to think of my audience as anything but a crowd of adversaries willing to read my work only to attack whatever I wrote because nobody believes in technology or happy conclusions or that killing actual child characters JUST for shock value means you are not a writer but a goddamn marketer and you should not be writing stories because it is extremely disturbing to be three episodes in when Travellers drops the dead kids bombshell, instead of the first episode so that at least you know what you're getting into instead of feeling betrayed.

I know it's not always about me, but why is it NEVER about me, not for even just a little while? Why does everybody else get a fucking soapbox on the internet and I'm the exception only because I don't have a social trend to back me up? I'm not going to take your soapbox, but you won't let me have one and until you do I will resent anything that - if reapplied to me - makes me feel like you think my very soul is invalid just because my way of looking at the world is so different from literally everyone on the fediverse it seems.

I say nice things and I do mean them. I just need you to all know I do it because the internet was my life and now I have no life and even when I spent the past 8 years trying to rebuild my life, circumstances mean I was doomed to fail and this? This is like breaking someone's kneecaps and then telling them they need to get over it and start walking again.

ToyDork ,
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Value? What value? At this point I want EVERYONE dead, burn it all to the ground. You're all making me miserable and I hate you all. So no value, just revenge, because what is going on in the world and in my life is driving me literally into a frothing rage.

ToyDork ,
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Probably killing us because of whaling. Not that the fucking orcas should be pointing fingers when they eat baby seals. I hate nature even more than I hate humanity at this point.

ToyDork OP Mod ,
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Wait, it decreases Dementia? I thought I read it, but now I'm wondering if I have memory problems? Or was I right about bigger brains increasing Dementia?

ToyDork OP Mod ,
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Yup, I f-ed up with this somehow.

"A 2016 National Institutes of Health (NIH)-funded study found that there’s been a progressive decline in newly reported dementia cases since the 1970s, with an average reduction of 20% per decade." Going to hide this post as a result, sorry about that.

ToyDork ,
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Hey, at least nobody has been replaced with the bots that convert YouTube URLs to piped.video or summarize articles. Ironic, but this specific bot is helpful and working right, so... Good bot. Best friend.

GPT, however, is purely made to bust unions and I hope to see Big Tech buried alive for that.

ToyDork ,
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I think North America looks like this. I also think that "societal problems are unfixable because rich people profit off of those problems and will kill to keep those problems unsolved and unsolvable" permeating both real life and the internet is the informational equivalent of stroads.

ToyDork , (edited )
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Worse, none of these relied solely on advertisement companies. There's a reason the Matrix was associated with hopeless 90s office drone work but then became a superficially friendly, toxic, enabling crapsaccharine microcosm of the year 2021.

Just like the Fight Club reference from Robot Chicken informed the Barbie movie, the reference to the Matrix in Adam Ruins the Internet seems to have informed the extrapolatory writing; Advertisers farm people for their data and fatten us up with ads to get a higher profit.

Here's where it gets really bad. All this comes down to the shareholder-based income stream; the ultra-wealthy have justified exploitation of people to themselves to continue living in extreme luxury, if an individual is not simply a sociopath or clinically narcissistic. They now bleed companies dry by demanding a 25% "Return on Investment" while fully aware that kills businesses because these assholes know they're above the consequences of their actions.

I hate reality, please stop complaining about video games like they're the same as social media, and polluting my feed with political stressmongering. It's making the fediverse impossible for me to want to support, and I left reddit for exactly the reason everyone else who abandoned the Fediverse did.

ToyDork ,
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Okay, is it just me or is the total global revenue for physical media music less than $2 USD a year? I must be reading it wrong.

Rotating banners on /r/piracy ( lemmy.dbzer0.com )

Hey mates, recently I've developed a tool to use the GenerativeAI on the AI Horde to created random avatars and banners on lemmy. To keep things spicy, I wanted to deploy to rotate the /c/piracy banner daily, as I've done in a bunch of other communities like !stable_diffusion_art and the lemmy.dbzer0.com....

ToyDork ,
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Fact is, art is SO hard that I am in my 30s, broke and have no employable skills other than research, social skills (barely, blame Autism for ruining it for me) and creative ability.

I earned, like, $15 to $20 CAD from publishing a book of short stories on Amazon over 2 years. Before you ask why, I am not excluding quality as a possibility but for the most part it's because nobody is into optimistic post-singularity sci-fi anymore and I refuse to rely on anything but word of mouth for advertisement because screw the advertocracy.

My point is, if people pirate Cody Gibling's works, I'd rather they do so because I only want enough money to be comfortable and anything else I get would be aimed at more serious pursuits like activism. You know what I pirate? Anything that they make too hard to access in the first place. Like dead MMOs or completed movies that were cancelled to get the studio a free tax break.

ToyDork ,
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So is art itself. I might not name things the same as my inspirations or create anything identical, but I haven't written a single thing that wasn't based on something else.

I don't want the AI being trained on my work either, but that's because I oppose "automated mass slavery"

"Oh, you don't want to be a slave in return for only the most basic of food and shelter? Sure, see if there are any jobs out there anymore, now that robots can do all of it for rich arrogant god complex sufferers like me. Lets lay the new ground rules... You're DISPOSABLE to me. Beg and worship or die." - A designated slaveowner's thought process, 2084.

Stop thinking like a capitalist and start thinking like you're an angry drunk if you really believe LLM should be outlawed. Envy is not a flattering look on anyone, you included. At least protests and riots get shit done, even if that means sacrificing a lifestyle you're clearly only enjoying thanks to being self-centered in your artistic pursuits.

Google Allows Creditors to Brick Your Phone ( lemmy.world )

I installed NetGuard about a month ago and blocked all internet to apps, unless they're on a whitelist. No notifications from this particular system app (that can't be disabled) until recently when it started making internet connection requests to google servers. Does anyone know when this became a thing?...

ToyDork ,
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This. Didn't even use my Pixel 8 (then brand-new) until Grapheme OS was available for it (my Pixel 7 Pro got damaged beyond repair in an incident, not happy but though I expect privacy I don't expect a phone to survive ~20G of force) because fuck Google.

ToyDork ,
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Not sure, but I think the WiFi on it was defective or something because I had ridiculous amounts of trouble setting up smarthome devices on that phone. After several DAYS of it, I lost my temper. The 20g forces are a wild guess but the phone was unsalvageable.

Keep in mind I bought that Pixel 7 Pro on eBay.

ToyDork ,
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If that starts happening, I literally break down the stall door, get that shit out of me, and burn down the place. I will not put up with THIS when I am about to soil myself.

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