In a story that will undoubtedly leave you shaking your head and chuckling to yourself, a local father is reportedly convinced that his 6-year-old son is destined to become an NFL star as a quarterback, despite all evidence to the contrary....
Nickelodeon has recently announced a new children’s TV show inspired by the gritty mob drama, The Sopranos. Titled “Sopranos Junior,” the show will feature all the beloved characters from the original series, but in pint-sized form....
“We believe in personalization,” said Tiffany Floyd, director of the daycare division, “and what’s more personalized than putting a price tag on every single childhood experience?”...
Ten-year-old Simon Sess, unfortunately named after a classic children’s game, expressed his deep hatred for his name. Due to the relentless teasing centered around “Simon Says,” the child is now considering changing his name to something cool that can’t be teased like Rover or Chase....
In a stunning development that is set to revolutionize the way we feed our little ones, a group of surgeons has announced a new surgical procedure capable of increasing the size of a toddler’s dinner stomach while significantly reducing their snack stomach. This groundbreaking medical advancement, known as “Gastric Exchange...
The U.S. Army is taking drastic measures to address dwindling enlistment numbers, they have taken recruiting efforts to new heights, or rather, new lows. In a scene that resembled some sort of absurd parody, military recruiters set up a table at the Little Tykes Preschool yesterday, enticing unsuspecting 4-year-olds into signing...
Ryder, the local young leader of the Paw Patrol, has long been a fixture in Adventure Bay. He is often seen gallivanting around town with his high-tech ATVs or overseeing operations in his pup-filled command center. However, recent concerns about his upbringing have left many locals bewildered and wondering where the hell are...
Divorce lawyers across the nation are raising their glasses – and their billing rates – as Applebee’s sells out their new date night pass in only a few hours. The $200, 52 week date night deal is predicted to be responsible for a surge in divorce filings and salmonella....
The ever-unpredictable Joe Rogan Experience shattered another mold this week, welcoming its youngest guest ever: 9-year-old Alec Jones, a fourth grader from Austin, Texas. The episode, which aired yesterday, left audiences both amused and bewildered as Rogan delved into topics including ancient archeology, memories of the Comedy...
Local woman Jessica O’Malley, age 39, embarked on a daring home renovation project this week, impulsively stripping and painting her kitchen cabinets a trendy shade of sage green in a desperate attempt to fill the gaping void in her soul....
There’s a up-and-coming political star that is making waves on the local level, 5-year-old Jerry Manders from Chicago, Illinois, has been identified as a lying prodigy with a skill set so advanced that he is already being hailed as a future star in American politics.