You can be banned from lemmy.blahaj.zone for calling out transphobia

I recently made a new account on lemmy.blahaj.zone, because I’ve been harassed and doxxed on my old account and I wanted a fresh start with a more lighthearted online identity that I could be more open about my gender identity on. I’d heard blahaj zone was good for trans people, so I made my account there. And yeah, autism@lemmy.world removed my post discussing neuronormativism from a queer perspective, but I hoped maybe “the trans instance” would be friendlier to trans people.

A couple days after making my account, I saw someone on Blahaj engaging in the tired old cliche of “I hate politics, there’s no politics on my social media and I want to keep it that way!” Well we’ve all heard the joke that the two races are white and political, the two genders are male and political, and the two sexualities are straight and political. Hatred of politics is a transphobic, sexist, and racist trope. And having sufferred harassment and abuse from people inside the queer community who “hated politics” and saw trans or nonbinary or xenogender identities as political, I knew this kind of speech was going to make bigots feel comfortable saying they also hate politics, and they think us trans people are it.

So, I responded to the transphobia. I started out by attempting to educate them on what politics actually means. But I was interrupted by the Blahaj admin Ada, who told me that politics is “anything I disagree with”, and that indeed politics isn’t welcome on Blahaj. This language was deeply triggering of my past issues dealing with abuse, and I knew from past experience this sort of thing is said by people who are getting ready to say some enbyphobic or racist hate speech. It is especially common for white queer people to talk this way to BIPOC queer people. I tried to reason with Ada, explained the history of the cliche, the trauma it’s caused many trans people, and the consequences this kind of speech will have on the community here, making us all less safe.

Ada wasn’t having it. She minimised my concerns by reducing them to my personal trauma while ignoring my wider concerns for others’ safety, and weaponised my PTSD to paint my opinions as invalid because I am mentally ill. She said she owns Blahaj, and she gets to do whatever she wants with it, and nobody is allowed to express a differing opinion, even one that protects trans people, because that’s politics. At the time I thought her concern was me speaking directly to transphobes and making them feel uncomfortable by calling out their actions, so I said I’d just report it instead, and she banned my account.

This behaviour protects transphobes, WILL lead to trans and BIPOC people being harassed on this instance, attacks and gaslights victims of trauma (my concerns can’t be valid because I have a mental illness), and forces out any trans person with a commitment to safety for the community.

The thread where all this happened: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2143969

EDIT: The person who originally posted the transphobic views on politics is now misgendering me and calling me a "guy" despite me being very openly nonbinary: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2319669. And I didn't call them autistic at any point.

hal_5700X ,
@hal_5700X@lemmy.world avatar

Oh My God Who the hell cares?!

Your best move is to move on.

EDIT You got a 24 hour ban. It expired 9 hours ago. So you're unbanned now. Move on.

DmMacniel ,

My dude and guy... Those two nouns are pretty much universal.

Also not everything has to be political because it's very tiring. Ada really tried thier best to reason with you but you continue to add fire to the pile. This ban is solely on you and your harassment. Take Abigail's advice and touch grass.

DroneRights OP ,

Everything is political because that's the definition of the word politics. Defining the status quo as apolitical is propaganda, and not everyone wants to deal with you spewing propaganda all over the place. Especially when it's the same propaganda used by transphobes and repeating it will benefit transphobes.

Also I'm allergic to grass. I get all itchy. And if it's been freshly mowed, I get a horrible runny nose. Maybe try a non-ableist way of phrasing things next time? There's also sunlight allergies, agoraphobia, mobility issues, and executive function disorders like autism, anxiety, and depression that can make it hard to touch grass.

Fantomas ,

NGL you had me at first but this is one of the best trolls ive seen in a while.

DroneRights OP ,

I get it, you're incapable of understanding that someone with different views than your own exists. Your world is small and you control the rules. Anything which contradicts your worldview doesn't exist and must be some trick or deception.

Fantomas ,

👍

GONADS125 ,

I don't mean any offense, but you may want to consider if you're experiencing these negative automatic thinking styles, because it seems very apparent from the outside looking in.

It's not uncommon for these thinking patterns to arise in people with trauma, which you have stated you unfortunately have experienced. I'm not minimizing what you have and are going through, but your quality of life and clarity in thinking could be improved by addressing these tendencies if they do exist.

Mewtwo ,
@Mewtwo@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

OP is cringe af.

Ada was professional and clear in their responses and you are being argumentative for the sake of argument.

It appears you weren't banned for transphobia, but for causing an environment that is not positive nor in line with what Ada is fostering. And tbh the less negative information on Blahaj zone the better, I want positivity.

Mars2k21 ,
@Mars2k21@kbin.social avatar

Saying this as somebody just reading the post, I don't know the whole context.

Being somebody who is BIPOC, you're not doing us much of a favor either by having an outrage across multiple corners of the fediverse. Take a breather. Seriously, zoom out and just consider what you are writing right now.

Hatred of politics is a transphobic, sexist, and racist trope.

...what if I just don't like seeing news that only makes me feel angry or bad on my feed. People have different things they want to participate in and see. Just because you like it to discuss it doesn't mean you should jump to accusations when someone doesn't want to. Its a sensitive topic to begin with. I just come here to see tech, cars, and art.

I started out by attempting to educate them on what politics actually means.

This comes off very pretentious. Just let this one go bro.

Look, I don't know what's going on with this blahaj place's moderation or whatever and its not my business. Just based on what I see here, you may want to take a good proof read at what you are saying and spreading around before you lead yourself somewhere that you regret. If you don't like this blahaj server's rules or anything, just leave. Its just the internet. You might find somewhere better suited for you if you just move your account to another instance. If you want to voice concerns, spreading posts like these across multiple communities isn't the way to do it.

DroneRights OP ,

…what if I just don’t like seeing news that only makes me feel angry or bad on my feed.

That's not the meaning of the word politics. Politics means group decision making. Every group is constantly making decisions, like "Where should we eat? Did we enjoy that movie? Isn't this animal cute? How are we going to deliver the client's product in two weeks?" Those are politics, and they are also the bread and butter of human socialisation. This other thing you're talking about, bad news, that's not what politics is. Sure, bad news is political, but that's because everything is political.

The belief that bad news and politics are the same thing has been used to justify transphobia, sexism, and racism. Because the belief leads people to hate politics, and that means any bad actor can (correctly) call something they don't like political and stoke hatred. Trans people are political because everything is political. There will always be a way to paint trans people as political because it's true. So if trans people are political and most people hate politics, then all a bad actor has to do in order to justify hatred of trans people is call us political while being dishonest about what politics means.

That's why dishonesty and mistruth around the definition of politics causes transphobia. That's why hating politics is transphobic.

Mars2k21 ,
@Mars2k21@kbin.social avatar

This is the definition of politics (Merriam-Webster).

You're taking it way out of context. If I tell somebody we should go for a walk its not anything beyond just socializing. Please stop jumping to conclusions.

I'll just leave it there. Not really here to go back and forth.

DroneRights OP ,

Your link says politics is "the total complex of relations between people living in society". That includes asking somebody to go for a walk.

Spzi ,

…what if I just don’t like seeing news that only makes me feel angry or bad on my feed.

That’s not the meaning of the word politics. [...] This other thing you’re talking about, bad news, that’s not what politics is. Sure, bad news is political, but that’s because everything is political.

I feel you missed a chance to get a less aggressive perspective on all of this.

The other person told you they "just come here to see tech, cars, and art.". Probably hinting at a casual experience, with little to no opinionated or controversial topics. Maybe they have a mental health too, maybe they have a super political day job, or whatever. There are many reasons for people to seek another experience on Lemmy than you do. This does not necessarily imply they are your political enemies and need a lesson from you.

The belief that bad news and politics are the same thing has been used to justify transphobia, sexism, and racism.

While in a specific way it is true that everything is politics, this does not mean it is okay to make everything about politics. You cannot connect a persons desire to have Lemmy without politics to justifications about transphobia, sexism, and racism. That's crossing several lines.

Have you looked into non-violent communication?

Spzi ,

If you don’t like this blahaj server’s rules or anything, just leave. Its just the internet.

Yes, but, but ...

https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/duty_calls.png

'What do you want me to do? LEAVE? Then they'll keep being wrong!'

SgtSilverLining ,
@SgtSilverLining@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Hey, Abigail here. I just want people to know the reason this person got banned is likely because of a deleted comment not included in that thread. OP called me autistic mentally unwell for not liking politics. THAT kind of behavior is not acceptable on lemmy.blahaj.zone, so I reported the comment and let Ada handle it. Ada tried in good faith to reason with OP but it was clear they just wanted to fight. So yeah, they got banned. Ada's a fantastic lady who's been great at keeping the trolls at bay.

Edit: and the bit about me misgendering them is also wrong. Gender didn't come into play until after I had left the conversation. English default on the internet is male for strangers.

DroneRights OP ,

I'm not a guy, I'm VERY openly nonbinary. FFS, my previous username was PM_ME_FAT_ENBIES and I told anyone who asked about it that I'm gay. I also didn't call you or anyone else autistic at any point. Jeepers creepers, no wonder I got a transphobic vibe from you, you misgender anyone you disagree with. Is this your usual response to being called transphobic? Just confirming it out in the open?

SgtSilverLining ,
@SgtSilverLining@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Actually, you're right. You said I had ASPD, not ASD. Sorry about that.

DroneRights OP ,

That's not the whole truth either. I said that voluntarily isolating yourself from all social interaction would be understandable if you had ASPD, but my thesis was that you do not have ASPD, you do not voluntarily isolate yourself from social interaction, and you love politics.

jeffw ,

I’m cis, but I use words like “dude” and “guy” to refer to anyone. I think the above commenter might be using the same logic

DmMacniel ,

W all are guy and dudes. You are on the internet, deal with it. And that username, which is quite cringe, says nothing.

Koen967 ,

Don't worry about it too much. From what I've read in this thread alone is enough for me to label OP as a troll.

DroneRights OP ,

English default on the internet is male for strangers.

So you misgender every transfemme stranger you meet as a matter of personal policy? Your defence for misgendering me is that you do it to every trans girl and enby? And Ada is defending you?

leraje ,
@leraje@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Sometimes, after a period of time dealing with the day to day realities resulting from political issues, people just want to be somewhere where they don't have to keep having to experience those issues, even in text form. Everyone needs a break for awhile and saying so is not an act of transphobia or any other kind of intolerance, its just an acknowledgment that everyone has a limit and needs to be aware of how stretching that limit can effect mental health.

DroneRights OP ,

That's not what the issue is. Nobody minds that anyone dislikes controversy. The issue is people being untruthful about what politics is.

Fondots ,

If you're going to get this caught up in worrying about exact definitions, you need to take a step back and accept that colloquial/informal usage of words often differs from their technical definition.

Social issues are hopelessly entangled with politics in the world we live in, it's basically impossible to discuss one without the other in any real meaningful, practical way. Trying to make that distinction is really a purely theoretical exercise, it's sort of a "spherical cows in a vacuum" situation, if you try to discuss politics without acknowledging the vast array of social issues that impact them (or vice-versa) you're left with something too far-removed from reality that it has no real practical applications.

Now that kind of thing can certainly make for some interesting discussions with people who enjoy that kind of thought experiment, but you're not going to find anyone who's willing to have that kind of conversation in a space where it's been made clear that they don't want to talk about politics.

DroneRights OP ,

I accept the existence of the fact that some people believe politics means controversy. But I don't accept the morality, justice, or rightness of that fact. It's a bad thing that people believe politics means controversy. It should be challenged. Nothing good can come of agreeing with the propaganda of transphobes.

Fantomas ,

I started out by attempting to educate them on what politics actually means.

There it is.

Luke_Fartnocker ,
@Luke_Fartnocker@lemm.ee avatar

I also would like my non political communities to be void of politics. I'm glad to see an admin actually stop that. None of the Reddit mods would ever stop political crap, even though it was against the sub rules.

DroneRights OP ,

Everything is political. Politics is defined by nearly every dictionary as the field of decision making and power in groups. Every reddit and fediverse community is a group. Those groups need mechanisms of controlling power and making decisions. That's what politics is for. That's what politics is. When you say you hate politics, you are making a political statement. You are trying to influence a group's decision making.

Spzi ,

Everything is political.

And yet it is possible and fine to define which topics belong to a community, and which topics do not.

Note this doesn't change anything about this group being political by your definition.

So if a group decides they only want to discuss cute cat pics, and specifically do not want to discuss social topics regarding humans (what people roughly mean when they express their antipathy for politics), that's one of many ways to make a cat community. It's still a political group in your book, necessarily. It's still not okay to talk about labor unions in that cat community.

DroneRights OP ,

I agree with you, and I agreed with you yesterday when I was banned. That wasn't the argument.

Spzi ,

I agreed with you yesterday

I think we only had contact an hour ago or so, or I'm unaware. What I mean to say is, I'm afraid you might confuse me with someone else.

That wasn’t the argument.

Then why do you make that point so often? People tell you they don't want to talk about politics, and you respond with 'everything is politics'. While technically true, it's a way to completely misunderstand what they said, get yourself into trouble and be annoying to everyone else in the process. People even don't have to agree with your definition of politics. When they express their desire to not talk about something, it's good advice to try to understand what they actually meant, not start a discussion about what the word means from your perspective.

DroneRights OP ,

I'm not mistaking you for someone else, I mean to say that the opinion you expressed is one I would have agreed with yesterday. I believe you misunderstood what the point of disagreement was.

When they express their desire to not talk about something, it’s good advice to try to understand what they actually meant, not start a discussion about what the word means from your perspective.

Well that's not true. If someone says "Don't talk to me about them F*****s, I hate them", then the correct thing to do is say "gay people deserve to exist, you homophobe". It's always correct to counter someone when they spread a harmful message, with or without their consent. Because spreading harmful messages must be considered implicit consent to be challenged on them. You can't have a functioning society otherwise.

People even don’t have to agree with your definition of politics

Yes they do. Trans people will be hurt if they don't. Their definition of politics is propaganda created by transphobes, which benefits transphobes. That's why it's important. That's why the speech is harmful.

b0gl ,

Lmao what is this? First time on the internet?

sugarfree ,
@sugarfree@lemmy.world avatar

Well done if this is a troll post. If not, lol.

spaduf ,
@spaduf@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

What was your old username? Would be helpful to look you up in the modlogs

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