@ZoeMammut@mastodon.social cover
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ZoeMammut

@ZoeMammut@mastodon.social

Bachelorette 📚🎓 (BTh). Linksgrün 💜. 🏳️‍🌈-friendly. Anti Fascho und Schwurbel. Mag Heiteres, kann auch Ernst. Fährt (noch) dreigleisig. "Ja, ich twöeete!"

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. For a complete list of posts, browse on the original instance.

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

George makes a strong argument.

ZoeMammut ,
@ZoeMammut@mastodon.social avatar

@lowqualityfacts
He'd better make a strong scotch, but okay.

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

Almost too wild to just be a coincidence.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

ZoeMammut ,
@ZoeMammut@mastodon.social avatar

@lowqualityfacts
Time travel mystery?

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

I'm surprised that so many people don't know this.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

ZoeMammut ,
@ZoeMammut@mastodon.social avatar

@lowqualityfacts
They know but don't survive long enough to share their wisdom...

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

Wow, you learn something new about Bill Murray every day.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

ZoeMammut ,
@ZoeMammut@mastodon.social avatar

@lowqualityfacts
You mean, he did that repeatedly?

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

I somehow never knew this.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

ZoeMammut ,
@ZoeMammut@mastodon.social avatar

@lowqualityfacts
I like flambéed food...

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

We made a comic about the moon.

ZoeMammut ,
@ZoeMammut@mastodon.social avatar

@lowqualityfacts
🎶 Blue moon🎶

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

This is why most Olympians aim to win bronze.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

ZoeMammut ,
@ZoeMammut@mastodon.social avatar

@lowqualityfacts
Well, I should win a gold, silver and bronze medal for eating chocolate better than anyone else. Or was it more than anyone else? Anyway, I'd eat them all!

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

No one knows where the whole long hair depiction came from.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

ZoeMammut ,
@ZoeMammut@mastodon.social avatar

@lowqualityfacts
Well, God might know - HE knows everything, right?

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

I'm surprised that so many people don't know this.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

ZoeMammut ,
@ZoeMammut@mastodon.social avatar

@lowqualityfacts
Because sea turtles make boring pets and even lousier snacks?

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

I believe they start to develop them around the age of 12.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

ZoeMammut ,
@ZoeMammut@mastodon.social avatar

@lowqualityfacts
They do, in fact, after being fed with products of only one certain brand for at least five years.

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

Am I excited that I now have 35,000 followers on here?
Yes.

Do I think that could in part be due to the recent wave of spam bots?
Shhhh please don't ruin this moment for me.

ZoeMammut ,
@ZoeMammut@mastodon.social avatar

@lowqualityfacts
Let's raise our glasses to your success!
I'll have some motor oil for a toast, what do you want?

ZoeMammut ,
@ZoeMammut@mastodon.social avatar

@lowqualityfacts
That's a truly low fact, isn't it?
🛢️ 🛢️

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

The year is 2025. Instead of having newscasters, mainstream media channels now permanently display the president's age on the screen, down to the millisecond. Every minute a voice announces that the president is now a minute older than they were a minute ago. Somewhere in the world, bombs are being dropped on a country you've never even heard of. The headline on the screen reads "The president is now three times as old as the world's oldest dog".

ZoeMammut ,
@ZoeMammut@mastodon.social avatar

@lowqualityfacts
That's Fox News, but only if Biden wins.
If Trump returns, they will display the President's stable geniusness instead.

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

I would like to pet the new creature please.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

ZoeMammut ,
@ZoeMammut@mastodon.social avatar

@lowqualityfacts
Don't forget to bring some food for the newly created: a bananouse for instance, or a mounana...

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

I am currently seeking Low Quality Friends. It's a lot like a regular friendship, except I will never:

-call you.
-text and say "are you free this day?" without providing any additional context, putting you in an uncomfortable situation.
-tell you that I am moving and heavily hint that I would like you to carry heavy boxes and heavier furniture out of my apartment.

In conclusion, it's the ideal friendship. Apply here:
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

ZoeMammut ,
@ZoeMammut@mastodon.social avatar

@lowqualityfacts
So let's be friends then!
I'll even lower the quality by currently not being able to make donations, so my friendship is absolutely free from any financial interests.

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

That makes sense.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

ZoeMammut ,
@ZoeMammut@mastodon.social avatar

@lowqualityfacts
Absolutely correct!
We're talking about chocolate, right?

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

I need this.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

ZoeMammut ,
@ZoeMammut@mastodon.social avatar

@lowqualityfacts
Such a sweet idea!

lowqualityfacts , to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

It has always been my dream to create a page-a-day desk calendar for Low Quality Facts. Because who wouldn't want to start off their day with one of these bad boys? It just seems like a perfect fit. The only problem is that I, a humble fact writer, have no idea how to make a calendar.

Please boost so some publishing company bigwig sees this and helps make the 2025 Low Quality Facts calendar a reality.

Every hourglass contains one edible grain of sand.
Although they are often depicted as teenagers, Romeo and Juliet were 88 years old in Shakespeare's play.
In 1929 it was discovered that ducks only quack when they are sad, which led to the Great Depression.

ZoeMammut ,
@ZoeMammut@mastodon.social avatar

@lowqualityfacts
Unfortunately we have no publishing companies in Europe, and that's a very low quality fact.

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