Djangofett ,

I attach a goatse to my email communicationsz tonrrally drive home the point of urgency in the face of devastating consequences.

Follow me for more productivity tips.

Onedestiny ,

"When can I expect an update" makes you sound like a micro managing POS

RagingNerdoholic ,

To be honest, I find most of these passive aggressive and patronizing.

Burstar ,
@Burstar@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

I agree, but, you'd be surprised how many people find many of these seemingly innocuous distinctions offensive (if only a little bit). For example, I was once chided by HR for saying 'no problem' during a seemingly friendly discussion.

kingvolcano ,

I mean apparently some people think a thumbs up in a chat is passive aggressive.

Burstar ,
@Burstar@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

👍

Tar_alcaran ,

"It'd be easier to discuss in person" means "I don't want a record of this because it's either illegal or shows my incompetence".

Any meeting that they want to talk about in writing should ALWAYS be recorded.

Arotrios ,

My personal ones for corporate use:

  • Never use I when you can use we.
  • Even if you're the only one working on a project, never refer to it as yours. Always refer to it as ours.
  • Don't apologize, present solutions.
  • Don't say "read my fucking email again you goddamn illiterate moron", say "As previously noted in our communications...."
ickplant OP ,
@ickplant@lemmy.world avatar

The last one is particularly important if you like to eat.

books ,

I will also attach old emails rather than repeat myself.

CannedTuna ,

“Per my last email…”

good ‘ol corporate clap back

Johanno ,

Our company "russian anthem starts playing"

Lysergid ,

Half of it is fragile CEO ego reply

aloeha ,

God I hate forced formality like this. This is the kind of shit Gen Z and millennials are rebelling against and I'm all for it. It is stupid for us to encourage people to be themselves and then to expect them to act like a completely different person at work, including the way they talk.

ickplant OP ,
@ickplant@lemmy.world avatar

You may see it as forced formality, but these tips were created by a person with ADHD to help others who struggle with setting boundaries, especially with time. The creator is a Millennial comic artist. It helps me be more myself when I respect my schedule and don't over-apologize, but I can understand that not everyone sees it the same way.

aloeha ,

I think you can do all of the things you said without being overly formal about everything! For reference I have ADHD too. ☺️

bwhough ,

I greatly prefer some of the "wrong" ones. Not everyone needs to talk like a corporate robot.

deweydecibel ,

Some of these are good, some are just needlessly assertive nonsense. Especially the two where it's actively refusing to acknowledge fault or apologize for it, which is standard PR crap. Refusing to apologize and instead saying "thanks for your patience" is what I expect to hear from my ISP when they miss their scheduled install, not from a coworker.

There's nothing wrong with being a normal human being that is capable of admitting their own shortcomings. If never saying sorry means "being a boss" then that explains why there's so many sociopaths as CEOs.

"Hope that make sense?" Vs "Let me know if you have any questions."

The latter is saying "here's the explanation, figure it out, bother me again if you can't". The fromer, while poorly worded, is being helpful, actively attempting to make sure the person understands before leaving them to it. It's both a kindness and doing your due diligence.

Sanguine ,

Seriously.. and oftentimes just combining both works better. "Hey sorry I'm late, I appreciate you all being patient" or "Hope that all makes sense, but please feel free to ask any questions if they come up"

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