Unfortunately, the inconvenience is something of a catch 22. Do we allow everything through for the sake of convenience? What happens when extreme content that is NSFL gets posted? What happens when illegal content is federated, or hate speech that indicates action will be taken is made? What happens when you observe a pattern of this behavior from a common source? Content must be moderated for things to be "safe" and the rate that unsafe, nonaligned content was coming in wasn't sustainable.
Choosing to defederate wasn't taken lightly and it was done reluctantly. It was discussed for two days after observing systemic effects from those instances and after reaching out to the instance admins for alternatives.
I see you're posting not from a beehaw account, which means you likely haven't seen @Gaywallet 's post on what it is to be a community and the framework to get there. This posts may help you understand this instances stance on things and what our instances users are hoping for is to build.
All in all, sorry you're not happy, but we're being careful for our community.