The late Mojo Nixon had an appropriately amusing tour rider. ( boingboing.net )

Excerpts quoted in the article:

Be Nice: (A) Elvis was always polite; (B) Have a good time; (C) Don't beat up rowdy fans unless absolutely necessary.

Beer, Snacks, Beer, Dinner and Booze: (A) Snacks in dressing room for soundcheck. Cheese crackers or such; (B) One case of Budweiser on ice. More beer if we need it. Sometimes we do.

Dressing Room: (A) Big enough for four grown people at least; (B) Bathroom or three piss jars.

Loaders: (A) Just a couple of guys or gals to help carry stuff from van to stage and back again.

Edit: Pic from Twitter-

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/c9897542-6a67-4d9a-9f46-616177499604.png

No fucking flute players!